The Fuzz Takes Shape

As you may have noticed from the two shots of me in the In Dog We Trust post, the beard has undergone a serious trim and now has a distinctive shape. What kind of shape? A Goatee? Too '90s. A Fu Manchu? Too exotic. A mustache? Too sleazy. A Van Dyke? Too, um, Satanic.

So I made my own style! I shaved off the sides (which were shockingly gray), leaving the bottom intact bounded by a straight line from my inner cheek to the "point" at the end of my jawline. This style does not have a name that I (or anyone else) knows of. One friend suggested calling it "Batman." Another friend suggested the "Clam." Well, it's my own creation, so don't I get to name it?

May I present a new addition to the great pantheon of beards?

Behold: The FreeThinker!

In Dog We Trust

Did you hear the one about the dyslexic insomniac agnostic?

He stays up all night wondering if there is a Dog.

I'm not dyslexic, insomniac, or agnostic, but I do believe in Dog.

And that's what makes today special: it's the start of the Chinese New Year. 4704. The Year Of The Dog.

The festivities began this morning with a 10K foot race, which zigzagged through Chinatown, Fisherman's Wharf, The Embarcadero, and Downtown; ending at Portsmouth Square for the post-race party. At 8:00 AM, the deafening sound of thousands of firecrackers signaled the start of the race. Fireworks are illegal in San Francisco, but the police traditionally look the other way during the two-week long Chinese New Year celebrations.

FreeThinker's 10K time: 53:35.

Gung Hay Fat Choy!

Secular Coalition for America

A Washington, D.C. lobbyist making the "meet and greet" rounds in San Francisco is nothing new, but tonight The City was visited by a unique and important lobbyist -- Lori Lipman Brown.

Ms. Brown is a full-time lobbyist for the Secular Coalition for America, a new lobbying outfit devoted to Jeffersonian ideals and amplifying the voice and concerns of the growing nontheistic community in the United States. Yes, this is an uphill fight, and lobbying is not a pleasant activity, but it's the way things get done and someone's got to do it. American government is secular by design, and it's so nice to have an organization that defends the Constitution and supports nontheistic Americans. Check out these news items from Mother Jones and USA Today.

Ms. Brown has earned the confidence of many congresspeople, and she reports she is always warmly received. Her brief San Francisco visit, at the down-home hofbrau Tommy's Joynt, had similar results.

Run, Fly, or Row

Another weekend, another three hour run along my usual route to the Golden Gate Bridge and back.

Just a few photos to share this time: Two not-camera-shy seagulls, and some rowing action in front of Alcatraz.

Seagulls, like most animals, are easy to photograph (if you can get close or have a good zoom) because they can remain perfectly still. (Maybe that's why duck decoys work so well.) On the other hand, the crew zipping by Alcatraz won't - can't - stay still!

Face Fuzz, Day 30

It's safe to say that the beard is now "full." The cheeks and neck have been trimmed, and very soon the overall thickness will need trimming. I'm starting to like it a little, but it will come off soon, certainly before suntan weather returns. Before it comes all off I'll shape it into something beside a basic beard. Van Dyke, Goatee, Soul Patch, Mustache, Stripe, Mutton Chops, Fu Manchu ... who knows?

Just The Facts, Ma'am

"You ain't got nuthin' on me, copper!"

I'm happy to report the satisfactory closure of the case of the mysterious message from the police. The San Francisco Police Officer called me back today, and while our conversation was choppy at the start (I know my Miranda rights, so I did not divulge any more information about how the camera came into my possession), it turns out that what I "should have done" was to leave the camera with the cab driver. Duh. The Police Officer did not know that the cab driver was long gone before I realized it was not my camera. Anyway, he works with the taxicab detail, which apparently includes the lost and found department. He just wanted to pick up the camera to help return it. So I leave it with my receptionist because "I'm in meetings all day" and he arranges to come pick it up. He's careful to say he won't be in uniform, he will be in "plainclothes."

Later, my receptionist told me that he came by, wearing sunglasses and an aloha shirt, looking very much like Rico Tubbs on an important undercover mission. He came, he flirted, he took the camera. I think it made her day!

Bom-ba-bom-bom...Bom-ba-bom-bom-BAAH... Case closed, at least for my involvement. I hope the camera gets returned to its owner, but I'll probably never know if that ever happens. My hands are clean and my conscience is clear. And my tax dollars are at work.

On The Lam

On this very unwinterlike sunny and warm day, how could I not go for a long run, and how could I not bring my camera? With a special "Law and Order" Playlist on the iPod (examples: Jailbreak, Running from the Devil, I Fought the Law and the Law Won, Have Mercy on the Criminal, Folsom Prison Blues, Jailhouse Rock), I did my favorite run along the waterfront up to (but not including) the Golden Gate Bridge.

The mental game this run was "On The Lam." I imagined the fuzz were after me, and my quick sprinting was all that kept me from getting busted. Hey, I know it's crazy, but a runner's gotta keep motivated with such mind games!

Busted By The Fuzz?

"Fuzz" has become part of my life in a new and unexpected way. (For international readers of FreeThought by a FreeThinker, "Fuzz" is also slang for the police.) Here's what happened:

Last Sunday, I met up with several friends for a bite to eat. I took a taxicab from Nob Hill to a restaurant in the Castro District. After paying my fare and upon exiting the cab, the cab driver says "Hey, don't forget your camera!" I see that a camera's on the seat, and thinking my camera fell out of my bag, I grab it and go. After I join my friends, I discover that this camera does not quite feel right. It's not my camera! It's small and silver, but this is an Olympus and I have a Canon. Too late to give it back to the cab driver because he's long gone.

So, of course the right thing to do is return it. Later that day I post a "found" ad on craigslist, and I call the cab company and speak with the "lost and found" department. They seemed shocked that I was calling about the "found" rather than the "lost." I give them details, and they take my number.

Days pass. No response from craigslist, and no calls about the camera ... until today. On my voicemail is a sternly-voiced message that goes like this:

This is Officer _______ of the San Francisco Police Department, taxicab detail. I understand from the cab company that you "found" an Olympus digital camera in the back seat of a cab and that you took it home with you. I need you to give me a call, please, at ________ at your earliest convenience. Now, you should have -- never mind, I'll talk to you about it when you call me. Bye.

WHAT? Why are the police looking for me now? Do they, and the cab company, think I "stole" the camera? It's just a cheapo digicam, and all I want is to get it back to the owner!

This call has me worried. I did call the officer back, but he was not in and I left a short message, only saying I was returning his call. So I still am worried about what's going on here. I hope this gets settled very soon.

Face Fuzz, Day 22

Three weeks into the new face fuzz, and still no trimming. People are telling me it's starting to look better now that it's filling in. Aside from the novelty of the change of pace, I still don't like it very much. But just as I don't like the mountains I climb (because it's there!), I proceed to grow this beard (because I can!).

By not spending any time on it, aside from a little more shampoo and conditioner in the shower, I figure I've saved almost two hours so far (the math: 5 shaving minutes a day saved x 22 days = 110 minutes, or 1 hour, 50 minutes). Where did that time go? Sleeping, probably.

Something will happen this upcoming weekend. A trim, a style, or maybe a totally naked face again. Nobody knows, not even me. Stay tuned.

Face Fuzz

FreeThought by a FreeThinker is back! After a long holiday break, it's time to get back to blogging basics. What is it about bloggers that makes us reveal intimate and sometimes unflattering stuff to the whole world wide blogosphere? Strangely cathartic, perhaps we just need to express ourselves in different ways than we do with our Real Live Human companions.

To that end, there's something new going on with my face: it's 100% natural since December 20, 2005. That's when, for no particular reason, I decided to pack up my razor and grow some face fuzz. I took these photos today, about two and a half weeks into unfettered beard growth. The "real" FreeThinker is a clean-shaven guy; although I wore a "goatee" in the early 90s and a "soul patch" in the late 90s. (Brad Pitt, I'm still on to you for copying my look!)


When growing a beard, common men's grooming advice is to not trim anything until four weeks of growth, and then begin to shape the beard. Right now, I have no idea what kind of beard to sport, but I have about a week and a half to decide. (Is it just me, or am I seeing a lot of men with untrimmed two-week beards these days?) Perhaps I'll start with the standard of trimming the neck and the upper cheeks to trace the jawline. Then maybe I'll keep trimming it until some unique beard appears. If I get too crazy the whole thing might come off and I'm FreeThinker, vintage 2005. That is likely because I've discovered I have quite a bit of gray in my beard. Odd. It was a lush, dark red color in younger years. First reading glasses, now gray beard hair ... why do I still feel like a kid inside?

For now, I'm enjoying the for-men-only affectation of gently stroking my beard, giving off that avuncular air of wisdom. And my face is still on vacation from the harshness and drudgery of shaving. Without the morning shaving ritual, there's an extra five minutes every morning to sleep in. And I have a bit of insulation from winter winds now.

I'll enjoy this face fuzz while it lasts!

Oh! Six

Happy New Year!